In search

 The HImalayas Having grown up on the beautiful lap of Himalayas, the omnipresent sight of the mountains has always brought joy and peace into my heart. Later I was told that the people of my tribe hold the mountains sacred and pray to the mountains. They said it is the source from where all things begin and end, and it’s the doorway to the fabled Mayal Lyang (paradise) of the Lepchas where time has no beginning and end. In the initial part of my life I never tried to understand what the mountains meant in my life or why it meant so much to me. I only knew that every time I looked at the glorious Kanchenjunga my heart would leap with joy when I was sad, it would calm me when shaken and confused, and help me reach to the sacred part of myself that I now call soul. I revere the mountains because of its beauty and magnificence. It shows me how pure, sacred and pristine it is covered in a halo of snow. Its so beautiful and yet stands alone, unmoved in solitude with unmatched

here is posting something I never posted:- The city: 2nd Jan 2008: So crowded yet so lonely; endless roads leading to oblivion. I shared my loneliness with the lone billboard flickering in the fumy night; the wait for the bus seemed endless. The song on the radio stringed together the pain of my heart and the loneliness of the city while the choking fume of the passing cars blended me into the morbidity outside.How long do I need to wait to breathe the fresh air with warm sun on my back? How long before I see the mountains lying on the grassy countryside? How long before I am where I belong? Life is about the choices we make and this is my attempt to live in harmony with my choices. ... that was then, now its different but we cannot forget our roots for that moment in time shaped us to be who we are today. - Pasang D Lepcha\

Goodbyes are painful when death separates us...you will always be loved and live in our memories. I miss you in the empty spaces of my life that you had filled with your unconditional love… Your coming into my life wasn't accidental, it was purposeful and God sent. You helped me back on my feet in ways people would fail to understand. You filled up the dreary spaces in my life with your constant companionship. I will cherish those walks in the park and the sunsets we watched together under the giant tree atop the small hill at deer park. You touched our lives and bonded us together, and in these threads of memories you will live on with us. In life it was difficult not to love you and in death its difficult not to remember you. When the long and lonesome day ends you will always be there to welcome me on the other side of the door. If you came into my life with a purpose then there must be purpose in your leaving. I only wish for you to be happy in this journey you must take alone

We took pictures of the yellow flowers and captured the memories of a fading dream. How some things always remain amongst the tattered n fragmented memories of the yesteryear. A season before i shared my sorrow wit the blooming flowers at the park; how ironic that my friend should share the same feeling wit me today. We walked on the dusty n winding trail, shared a smoke against the gentle breeze. The unrelenting heat beat down on us with the same intensity of the unchained emotions that ploughed our hearts. Its said that people meet for a reason; i felt glad to share this moment with my friend. We wondered how we would talk about this moment in the winter of our lives and wondered if these flowers would bring good memories. A season will pass and fade our dreams along with these memories but these flowers will be back in full bloom to share sorrows of another broken dream. - Pasang D Lepcha

It (happiness) exists in bubbles is what my friend says to me..His words resonates in my ears like the sound of the thunder outside. Flashes of insight like the lightning outside lights up the dark corners of my consciousness. How long before the sharp needles of reality burst those bubbles n set me free. How long before i come out of the bubble of my world? Life has been a wonderful journey among the bubbly rivulets n streams. A strong n turbulent sea awaits n i cant wait to be there. The strong & cold wind is less flattering than flattery of men (shakespeare?I think) dont know why but dylan songs keeps playin in my head "u got to serve somebody". Although the other song that i keep singing is "good bye is too good a word to say so i say fare thee well" i m tired of living in a bubble & of people living in them. World connot be without care n i know we r just a pawn in "his" game (dylan again). Will end this note wit a line i remember from a poem,

As my soul transmigrates from one world to the other, it travels far away into the distant land and seas, till it reaches deep into the woods. Happiness is something that I am learning to find deep within myself ... Far from the madding crowd I realise my true self. The voice of my soul becomes clearer and louder. I thought I would find voices there but I found only the rumblings and rantings of the self obsessed narcissist. Roads diverge in every step of the way, choices are made every step of the way. Life unravels every step of the way. A serene lake somewhere, a cold breeze on a mountain top, and the smile of a beloved holds my dream together in a far away place and time. Till then my weary feet must find their way in the road less travelled...

Seeking to find the God within, Hard to let go and even difficult to let in. How foolish to search for happiness When it is no more nor less Then wherefrom does the pain arise When curves and turns hold no more surprise? The best and worst are not yet over Ready to go fast but moving much more slower I know its a long way away from home On this lone stretch alone In search... - Pasang D Lepcha