In search

I am just a shadow, a shadow of your imagination!  I just happened to be passing by... I am just a shadow that emerged under the glare of the light, I just happened to be passing by...

Flying away into the sunset. .. This is evidence of how each year trees are being cut to make space for human settlements. The last of the birds leave their habitat to search for better homes. I remember how we used to play in the jungles. Today very small patches are left of our playground and the homes of the birds and the squirrels. The face of the hill has now been plastered with concrete buildings. There's a small patch of jungle in front of my house that is thriving with birds, squirrels and insects. We throw leftover rice and roti into the jungle which creates a lot of activity within the bushes. It's a magnificent ecosystem! One that lends freshness and beauty to our home, one that doesn't need or depends on us. My wife and I contemplate if this jungle will remain till the next ten years. We have less hope of this jungle surviving. Deep inside my heart I wish to buy this patch of land, so that I can preserve it for my son and for our retirement days! I gue

Waiting Not wanting, just waiting Eerie silence, the calm before the storm perhaps? When and why? Who knows? There are the ones who speak And there are those who don't, Words, sentences language... Can't you you understand what I am trying to say? No you don't understand, it's my silence that speaks... Waiting..?

Making the Jump, Girl power! Boys don't seem to be too good at it Failing Miserably! It's seldom we see children playing out on the streets. Most of the children stay indoors watching TV or playing video games! It was heartening to see children come out on the streets to play macchakara ( literal translation would be fish bone, but it could mean something else) , a game very few children play or know about these days. First multiple rubber bands have to be woven into a string which takes a lot of time too and is so much fun because it involves group work. Girls always beat us to it. So the game is played on the string made of rubber band and combines heights and styles of jumping.Two of the opposite team members act as posts while the other team jumps on the strings. Some jumps involve dexterity of jumping and holding down the strings by the sole of the feet.I don't exactly know if this game is intrinsic to Darjeeling but I remember girls always beating us bo

Its said that you need to take time out for the things you wanted to do rather than regret not having taken the time to do so. The New Year is an excellent time to review this list. For me, one of the many things I have not taken out the time for is this post, which I meant to write on New Year's day. So finally here I am busily punching on my keypad at a children's park in Siliguri.  My wife is lazily sifting through the Sunday newspaper while Appa seems pleasantly satisfied on his wheel chair basking in the warmth of the winter sun. Chunki our Tibetan abso is now finally resting after all the running and chasing. My wife steals occasional glances as I bury myself into this gadget aware of her disapproval at my preoccupation. Well the thing is that much happened in 2012 and so in retrospect here's my top three wishlist for 2013. 1. Firstly a prayer and wish for the Delhi Rape victim, that her death and suffering will not go in vain. Like everyone else he

Its yet another cold winter in  Darjeeling  with the same festivities and spirit of Christmas. Some daring or off season tourists have arrived in the hope of catching snow or perhaps they are here to take part in the Tea and Tourist Festival of Darjeeling .  Over this one year or so much has changed in Darjeeling, the roads have become wider,  major drains are being cleared as the foot path shops have been removed. The road leading up from Chowk Bazaar till Chowrasta has widened. These places which used to be major attractions for the tourists for shopping have lost some of their their charm.  It's not to deny that the change is welcome but also to acknowledge that many locals in the process have lost their livelihoods at a time when the economy of the hill is recovering and is at it's nascent stages.  This Christmas let's pray that there  is lasting prosperity and peace in the beautiful Darjeeling Hills. Let us hope that people are able to live in peace and har

Silent Prayer I ask mum if she thinks that too many people have died this year or is it just my perception. She just sighs and says maybe the seasons have been harsh for the weak and the old. Its the passing of a generation, I concede, gazing at the patterns on the table lost, each in our own deep morbid thoughts. I reflect, on how the days of our glorious past have become history today. What we did in the past are buried deep grave of memories. All that is seen today are cold monumental epitaphs with engraved letters that will fade in time. We cannot love one thing too much because it doesn’t last forever. How many tears have we shed, how many graves have we dug and filled, how many ashes have we scattered with love, longings and despair? We are today born out of what we did yesterday, yet it cannot be the same tomorrow because of what we did today. And so lets rest the heavy burdens of our aching souls today and wish each other good night and peace. Lets hope we may see each other ag

 The HImalayas Having grown up on the beautiful lap of Himalayas, the omnipresent sight of the mountains has always brought joy and peace into my heart. Later I was told that the people of my tribe hold the mountains sacred and pray to the mountains. They said it is the source from where all things begin and end, and it’s the doorway to the fabled Mayal Lyang (paradise) of the Lepchas where time has no beginning and end. In the initial part of my life I never tried to understand what the mountains meant in my life or why it meant so much to me. I only knew that every time I looked at the glorious Kanchenjunga my heart would leap with joy when I was sad, it would calm me when shaken and confused, and help me reach to the sacred part of myself that I now call soul. I revere the mountains because of its beauty and magnificence. It shows me how pure, sacred and pristine it is covered in a halo of snow. Its so beautiful and yet stands alone, unmoved in solitude with unmatched

Goodbyes are painful when death separates us...you will always be loved and live in our memories. I miss you in the empty spaces of my life that you had filled with your unconditional love… Your coming into my life wasn't accidental, it was purposeful and God sent. You helped me back on my feet in ways people would fail to understand. You filled up the dreary spaces in my life with your constant companionship. I will cherish those walks in the park and the sunsets we watched together under the giant tree atop the small hill at deer park. You touched our lives and bonded us together, and in these threads of memories you will live on with us. In life it was difficult not to love you and in death its difficult not to remember you. When the long and lonesome day ends you will always be there to welcome me on the other side of the door. If you came into my life with a purpose then there must be purpose in your leaving. I only wish for you to be happy in this journey you must take alone

We took pictures of the yellow flowers and captured the memories of a fading dream. How some things always remain amongst the tattered n fragmented memories of the yesteryear. A season before i shared my sorrow wit the blooming flowers at the park; how ironic that my friend should share the same feeling wit me today. We walked on the dusty n winding trail, shared a smoke against the gentle breeze. The unrelenting heat beat down on us with the same intensity of the unchained emotions that ploughed our hearts. Its said that people meet for a reason; i felt glad to share this moment with my friend. We wondered how we would talk about this moment in the winter of our lives and wondered if these flowers would bring good memories. A season will pass and fade our dreams along with these memories but these flowers will be back in full bloom to share sorrows of another broken dream. - Pasang D Lepcha

It (happiness) exists in bubbles is what my friend says to me..His words resonates in my ears like the sound of the thunder outside. Flashes of insight like the lightning outside lights up the dark corners of my consciousness. How long before the sharp needles of reality burst those bubbles n set me free. How long before i come out of the bubble of my world? Life has been a wonderful journey among the bubbly rivulets n streams. A strong n turbulent sea awaits n i cant wait to be there. The strong & cold wind is less flattering than flattery of men (shakespeare?I think) dont know why but dylan songs keeps playin in my head "u got to serve somebody". Although the other song that i keep singing is "good bye is too good a word to say so i say fare thee well" i m tired of living in a bubble & of people living in them. World connot be without care n i know we r just a pawn in "his" game (dylan again). Will end this note wit a line i remember from a poem,

As my soul transmigrates from one world to the other, it travels far away into the distant land and seas, till it reaches deep into the woods. Happiness is something that I am learning to find deep within myself ... Far from the madding crowd I realise my true self. The voice of my soul becomes clearer and louder. I thought I would find voices there but I found only the rumblings and rantings of the self obsessed narcissist. Roads diverge in every step of the way, choices are made every step of the way. Life unravels every step of the way. A serene lake somewhere, a cold breeze on a mountain top, and the smile of a beloved holds my dream together in a far away place and time. Till then my weary feet must find their way in the road less travelled...

Seeking to find the God within, Hard to let go and even difficult to let in. How foolish to search for happiness When it is no more nor less Then wherefrom does the pain arise When curves and turns hold no more surprise? The best and worst are not yet over Ready to go fast but moving much more slower I know its a long way away from home On this lone stretch alone In search... - Pasang D Lepcha

Everything happens for a reason...a purpose...a destiny! even the smallest of an event isn't fluke...the only challenge is understanding beyond appearances, looking behind facades...at the larger picture .. - Pasang D Lepcha

The glaring lights of the city, darkens the walls of my soul. While the cold midnight wind breathes life into my heart. How long before this road, reaches the end of its glory into light...

So close yet so far away, time feels flat, Many a hopes and many a dreams, Muffled voices I hear no more… And soon I will be gone! As free as a bird… - Pasang D Lepcha

I couldn’t stop myself from being amused as my friends started eating the New Year's Dinner in the wee hours after the nights celebration. I needed to get out of the smoke filled room to breathe some fresh air as I had already started wheezing because of the second hand smoke I had been smoking throughout the night. I quickly reached for the door and went out gulping as much of the cold and fresh air as possible. There was no sign of the sun due to the cold and thick fog. I vigorously climbed the stairs the terrace to warm up my body. I was feeling sick due to lack of sleep and hunger, but there was more to my sickness... What will you do if 101 people act in a prescribed way and 1 person does it differently? Who will you go with? Do you admonish something as false just because it does not come up to your expectations? Signals and symbols can be misinterpreted, indicators can lie. That's my dilemma right now. I realized this is I need to learn most. What is the truth? The t

Some people create illusions to hide the reality, to make believe and imagine the reality they want to see and feel. I am not one of them , I like to make illusions out of the reality that exists, to give them a sharper and sometimes various underlying meanings.

As I lay under the warm Dehradun sun with a pile of newspapers and magazines comfortably snuggled on the reclining chair I realised that the holidays that I had much awaited has passed under the blink of an eye with merely a few hours left before I catch the train back to Delhi. The news as always is bad and I am reading an article in the outlook 'how to stay happy in these depressing times?" The article just makes you feel that the blues are everywhere and everyone is in "pursuit of happiness" and well being. Khuswant Singh, Abul Kalam Azad and some other guy recommends the top three things for happiness. Which figured as follows-a) A good bank balance b) family ties c) I forgot…I only remember the other article it recommended a 14 MP G10 Canon Power Shot! Phew! Quite a list. I need to acquire all of them. I have been telling everybody that 2008 has been a bad year for everyone. A year of loss and suffering and yet it hasn't been so bad either. A mixed bag may

A door that I need to close A singed memory that I need to crush A fall that I need to take The final chapter that I need to finish A dream to forget before I wake A time will come when can I look back and smile, lifetimes, spaces, time and again Singed memories of a crumbled edifice A blurry vision behind a teary eye Many paths needs to be traversed, and many a lonely night under the starry gaze How many sighs under the wishful moon, before I find the missing piece of the larger maze - Pasang D Lepcha